When your partner annoys you at the slightest problem, or when you no longer speak in the future or in the majority, the relationship is not on the right track. But these signs are not always easy to spot. And it is not so easy to accept that your couple makes you more unhappy than anything else. The experts in romantic relationships, however, agree: in love, certain signs are not wrong. Here are 5 “red flags” (warning signs, in French) to spot. And as a bonus, some ways to remedy it.
1 – Your partner irritates you easily
His little flaws that you found so charming in the beginning of your relationship irritate you now? That he eats his salad with a teaspoon instead of a fork makes your hair stand on end very quickly? At the slightest “mistake” one of you begins to show an annoyed, even aggressive behavior ? That’s a bad sign.
Your threshold for tolerance towards the other has dropped drastically. And when it comes to the fact that the mere presence of the other makes you unbearable and makes you change rooms, something is wrong. This observation might make you sad, however this lack of goodwill is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
2 – You no longer take on anything together
It is perfectly normal (and healthy!) To want to spend time separately. Especially after these prison periods where the couples spent all their time together. But in an alarming case, one of the partners visibly spends as much time as possible outside and even avoids his other half. A couple on the right track should like to do and share things together. Not just the things that “necessarily” connect them.
Also, the relationship is on the wrong track if you feel the relationship is stagnating, because your partner no longer takes on anything. Ask yourself the question: is it always the same person in your couple who suggests a restaurant, an outing? For the psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantré, if “Your partner demands that you do the work all the time, that’s not a good thing. Someone who is genuinely interested in you will contribute and be proactive in the relationship ”.
3 – You no longer project yourself into the future
That’s a few months ago you no longer have any long-term plans. Whether it’s a short vacation in Juan-les-Pins, real estate projects or even the development of new shared passions, that is nothing. “Next year we will be … This summer we will go to …” None. You do not speak properly in the future tense anymore nor in the plural.
Another sign that people are talking about your future ex is if you yourself begin to project yourself into a bright future. You often dream of a life “as before”, without your partner on the horizon. Even though, you begin to build an ideal for yourself with another. This sign does not deceive.
4 – You begin to lose confidence in yourself
If you lack self-confidence from the beginning of the relationship, you will become even more vulnerable later on. And you will find it all the more difficult to admit that you deserve better than a partner who criticizes you.
In love, we tend to build our self-image through the eyes of others. You feel that your partner is constantly criticizing your ideas, your actions or your physique. May they only give you disinterest, even contempt. This relationship can be devastating. And if you can not talk about it with your other half, then run away.
5 – Your friends or family do not like it
Of course, your partner may not automatically please everyone. However, if your loved ones spend their time reminding you of its negative sidesyou should consider listening to them.
Your friends and family members wish you (usually) all the best. They make up an outside look at your love bubble. Admittedly, they do not understand your couple in full, but they see much more red flags that you can refuse to see yourself in the face.
Bonus points: ways to “enchant your couple”
Even answer yes to some of the points above, your relationship is not necessarily doomed. Everything is not hopeless. With proper communication work, things can work out very well. Between couples therapy and the break, there are manysolutions tailored to each pair.
At this point, The “15Février” platform offers solutions to “enchant your couple”. A group of professional couples have armed a program that includes testimonials from couples, practical advice and simple challenges to achieve, alone or in pairs. Dozens of experiments available online, from “How to keep it mysterious” to “How to break the sexual routine”. So before you throw the towel in the ring, why not try this experiment?
And you ? Have you ever managed to get around some of these signs in your relationship? Or on the contrary, did you prefer to escape from this relationship? Come and talk about it on the forum Body optimistsin the corner Sexuality, couple lifewe talk about everything, without judging.