7 things you should never tolerate

Today, our culture continues to trivialize and romanticize certain toxic behaviors in couples. So much so that it is not easy to spot the warning signs (or red flags) in our own romantic relationship. The co-dependence, the jealousy, the refusal to argue, the remote and mysterious personality … many of us have endured enough of them already. It’s time to talk about what should no longer be tolerated.

1 – Your partner has violent behavior

This is perhaps the most obvious of all behaviors one never tolerates in a romantic relationship. But not always to be visible, violence is not so easy to bestow the first blow. In the prevention posters, domestic violence is explained with blues and coquards. In reality, there are several forms of violence. Often intertwined they can scale quicklywithout being aware of it.

Domestic violence takes many forms. There is sexual and physical violence, as we see, when they are not hidden. Then there is also verbal and mental abuse, which ranges from extortion to threats, to an actual emotional hold. And administrative and financial violenceresulting in control over cash flow.

If you suspect that your relationship involves one of these forms of violence, seek outside help as soon as possible.

2 – Your partner is too jealous.

Jealousy can be tolerated if controlled and minimal. When your partner is constantly checking on you, or getting upset when you see yourself chatting with someone else, it’s not healthy. And if they start digging into your phone or computer, it becomes dangerous. It is then necessary to lay new foundations in the relationship. If communication does not work, run away.

In our culture, jealousy has become so romanticized that it is considered necessary, even mandatory in a relationship. If she does not show jealousy, our other half would not like us. In reality, this feeling demonstrates both a lack of self-confidence and a lack of respect for others. Unhealthy jealousy is characterized by a need for control and dominance over the other. It’s not good for any of the partners.

3 – Your relationship only goes one way

When a single person is responsible for the entire couple’s decision making, it’s a bad sign. How and why to spend the money, where to go on holiday, who to go out with … if one of the partners never comes up with something, there is an imbalance power between the two.

Many conditions do not work because one of the partners decides – consciously or not – to take responsibility for the other. Advice, help, listening, permanent gifts … it only goes one way. By always doing everything for the other, we make him dependent, we discourage him from becoming independent or from taking responsibility. A couple should be a space for trust and sharing, where everyone expresses themselves and acts freely.

4 – Your partner wants to change you

In a valuable relationship, both partners love each other for who they are. Meaning the other loves you as a whole, with your faults and your qualities. If your partner wants to change things about you, such as your appearance, your lifestyle, your relationships or your job … they do not deserve more attention from you.

Occasionally, some people keep wanting to “save” their significant other. They want to heal each other of his addiction, his phobias of commitment, convinced that they are there to help them. This is also one dangerous behavior. The Savior or Savior sees in the other only an inventory of his faults, and sees only himself through the other. Unconsciously, “Saviour.se.s” deals with the need for recognition and to increase their self-esteem. In addition, they experience that they take on a responsibility that exceeds their abilities. No one wants to burn out in love. We will never tolerate that again.

5 – Your partner hides you from his relatives

You are celebrating your 9 month relationship and you have never met anyone before in your friends, family or colleagues. You can ask yourself questions. After a while, your future ex will definitely be hiding something from you. If this relationship goes the right way, They must feel the need to show pride in your relationship with their loved ones.

Similarly, if your partner does not want to meet your relatives, that is not normal. Of course, no one is forced to completely change group of friends or share everything. Corn to love the other is also to want to know the people who make up his life.

6 – Your partner is not interested in you

Has your partner ever asked you about your past, your childhood? Does he know your current passions? Has something bad happened to you and they do not hear from you? They show no interest in you and have no problem with it.

We must not apologize to him by putting it on the back of “his personality”. It is a person who is simply not interested (or just in his person). Do not waste time on this relationship. Once again, the love of your partner translates to a large extent into the desire to know youto discover yourself with all that your life consists of.

7 – Your partner avoids quarrels

At the beginning of a conflict, they are too tired to continue the conversation. This is never a good time to talk. In fact, he is right, there are not really good times for bad news. That does not mean you have to stick your head in the sand. This only brings doubt and misunderstandings. And nothing can continue like this. Communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship!

Avoiding conflict leads to bitterness and anger in the long run. This leads to significant problems in the relationship because you can not fix something you do not know exists. Verbalizing annoying substances also demonstrates the trust you have in your partner and the relationship. Avoiding an argument can be a well-meaning but rarely beneficial behavior. On the other hand, research in this area suggests that self-confidence largely predicts effective problem solving and relationship satisfaction, ”marriage and family therapist Jim Seibold tells Reader’s Digest.

And you, what boundaries do you set in your romantic relationship? Come and share your experiences on the forum Body optimists ! In the corner Sexuality, couple life we talk about everything, without taboo.

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