“I fell into a toxic relationship and my friends could not do anything about it”

Our witness defines a toxic relationship as being “a relationship carried by love, but the two people – or sometimes one of them – love badly. The relationship only becomes painful and it seems difficult – even impossible – to leave, despite of warnings from those around you or otherwise. ”

“I think a toxic relationship should not be summed up in the possession or jealousy that is present. Possession and jealousy are part of love. Just you need to find the right balance, so as not to fall into an unhealthy, destructive relationship where everything turns into suffering. »

“In practice, toxicity takes place in different ways: degrading the other (physical, mental, professional, family, kind), isolating the other, not supporting them, not listening to their needs, not putting one’s own in the foreground, and so on.”

“A friend made me realize I was in a toxic relationship”

“As far as I am concerned, I was in a toxic relationship. It’s a friend who made me realize I’m falling in love with one of my friends. I think I was in denial because I had not admitted it to myself for a while. »

“His announcement was the trigger that allowed me to admit it to myself. I understood that I was gradually falling into a toxic relationship. The love I had for this person was mutual, but he refused to accept it because he was in a relationship. I had tried to make this famous ultimatum: ” either you clean up with your boyfriend or it will be without me ” but nothing has changed. He continued, I continued and it had become impossible for me to reason with myself and detach myself from him. “

“I was well and truly in the gears of the toxic relationship. I was wildly in love with him. I think this love was born out of my desire to help him. I was gradually attached to it, to the point, where I fell completely in love with it. In hindsight, I think he was unaware of the damage he could do by playing on both sides. “

“In the beginning we were just friends. I gradually discovered that he had deep demons, which he tried to drown during various excesses. I wanted to help him on my weight. His behavior made me think he needed me. “and that was how I became attached to him. I would not let him down.”

“I was the devoted mistress who always answered the present”

“My friends had subtly warned me, ‘Be careful, you fall in love with this boy, but what you go through is irrelevant. These hints had no effect on me. I did not understand what they were trying to tell me, I had mine head in this toxic relationship, without calling it that at all. My denial gave me the strength to believe that I could leave when – and how – I wanted to. “

“In the evenings with friends, he was often uninhibited by his addiction and did not hide to show some affection. He no longer cared about the eyes of others, and these gestures, like his words, gave me the feeling of being considered, of being recognized, of being loved. »

“It simply came to our notice then. I was the devoted mistress who always answered present and who was content with small moments of loss to feel loved. All these signals resonated as hope for me. He gave me dust of affection, of love, and I was content with that. I kind of accepted only to have it and only to be worth it. »

“He never said openly that he would leave his girlfriend for me. Certain gestures and certain words testified to the opposite. By messages, or when we were both, he made me understand, between the lines, how good he was at me. , and that he needed me. “

“So, after 7-8 months of being in a toxic relationship, he left the city where we had met each other. Rumors began to swirl. I had detached myself from the group of friends we had in common, and my image was not the most glorious … “

“During one evening, I came face to face with his girlfriend, who after his departure had become his ex. She knew everything from the start. She spared herself from insulting me and simply said to me with great calm and class: ” What hurts me the most in the story is that you really loved him. ”. »

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