Two-year pandemic | love in joggers

Have we reached a new height of intimacy?

Published on March 13th

The couples who have spent the last two years trapped under one roof have revealed themselves from all angles. These partners have proven to be vulnerable, complex, damaged. They saw themselves in crisis. And they saw each other all the time.

If life led them to divorce, would they be able to rebuild such intimacy with others?

I feel like if my boyfriend and I were to leave each other, I would never get back what we developed together. That he remains the only one who has known me so fully …

In fact, I think, two years after the famous March 13, 2020, that I have experienced an unprecedented situation on the sentimental level. Am I wrong ?

Cécilia Commo confirms that no.

‘There are wars, perhaps, answers the psychoanalyst and sexologist. With these couples demobilizing or hiding together … Except we’re not talking about the same living conditions. The pandemic has caused us a lot of fear, the fact is that we have remained in our environment and our comfort. Even in the days of pre-industrialization, where we lived as a family, we parted at least a day to perform our respective tasks. We never left each other there from morning to night … So yes, it was a unique situation! »


Cécilia Commo, psychoanalyst and sexologist

A situation which, according to Cécilia Commo, has made losers (we guess well) and winners (we talk less about it).

Among these three scenarios.

1) Fusion pairs that have adapted to isolation without much difficulty.

2) Couples who had the privilege of living in a sufficiently large place. “To be stuck for 20m2I can tell you that it’s a laboratory experiment … We’re waiting to see which of the two breaks, ”illustrates the psychoanalyst.

3) Then the couples who had the opportunity to discover each other.

According to Cécilia Commo, some lovers separated by their jobs and their hectic daily lives saw the first confinement as a parenthesis. “As if they were both lost on a desert island!” »

Like Tom Hanks and his Wilson, they got closer.

Except that we have not necessarily discovered each other from our clearest angles. I do not know about you, but at the beginning of the pandemic, I met a brand new Rose-Aimée Autumn … And she was much more anxious-stressing-boring than the bon vivant my boyfriend was dating for a few years. It was a surprise for both of us.

Hello madam! Who are you ?

“On a daily basis, we are all an anxiety person who ignores it, reassures me Cécilia Commo. With the pandemic, some people have finally discovered their reactions to anxiety. »

My boyfriend, he responded to it by calmly using his deep voice as soon as I needed it while wearing jogging or other sports tracksuits. Weekday.

“It was difficult for people to stay in the seduction for so long, the sexologist rightly emphasizes … We stepped head-on into each other’s reality. With its good sides and its more annoying aspects. »

(It’s not that joggers are annoying, but they actually fit less with the popular definition of seduction …)

More importantly, by reaching an unsurpassed height of camaraderie, single couples became couples. Individual intimacy has provided space to live together.

Recently, my spouse spent a few days with a friend. In a very rare period, I felt love separation anxiety … I was devastated to see him walk for 72 hours. I did not recognize myself. I had become a new woman.

Logical consequence of confinement, believes Cécilia Commo.

When we no longer practice something, we fear having to face it again. Suddenly we no longer know how to react to the distance! This pandemic has turned us into a fusion. We need to learn to distance ourselves without being afraid.

Cécilia Commo, psychoanalyst and sexologist

The problem, according to the psychoanalyst, is that we are not programmed to go back. When you’re 50, you know you’ll never be 30 again … But now it’s time to remember that before you could move away or live your individuality, and it went very well! We existed before the pandemic. Perhaps some aspects of this old relationship are even worth returning to.

Whatever the future, I can at least congratulate myself on being completely naked in front of others once in my life. Having left make-up and hiding places, for better or worse. Then, in this whirlwind, I would have had the incredible chance of discovering a man in all his vulnerability.

An adventure that repeats the brand new essay by Cécilia Commo, The perfect couple does not exist: praise of imperfection.

“In my book, I explain that what is most delicate in a relationship is the acceptance of diversity. Accept that the other may not think like us or that he does not like the same things … We often want someone who is a bit like our clone! With the pandemic, the other ended up collapsing and becoming himself. We were forced to accept the difference. »

And to all those who survived this great revelation, Cécilia Commo offers a new ritual …

“Perhaps you could celebrate every day on March 13, the day you were told, ‘You and you, yes, you are going to stick together. Long time no see.’ »

I’m going on board.

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