You just met him or her and he or she is already talking about your future trips together, the number of children you will have and the meeting with his or her parents? You may be a victim of “future faking”. This term refers to a new one toxic love behavior used by narcissistic perverts. Here is everything you need to know to avoid it.
Future forgery, seduction technique used by narcissistic perverts
Future faking is about providing a detailed overview of the future to facilitate bonding and connection in a romantic relationship. ONE seduction strategy especially used by narcissistic perverts to attract your attention and admiration. “It’s a way to attract her prey and make her dream, especially since the narcissistic pervert has a crazy talent for spotting her flaws, spotting what she likes,” confirms Anne Clotilde Ziégler, psychotherapist and author of several books about toxic conditions, i.a. Narcissistic pervert: 50 not-so-trivial everyday scenes to reveal and deal with.
In a relationship with a narcissistic pervert … they testify
The narcissistic pervert tells you in detail about all the wonderful things you will do together in the future: the cute little restaurant you will love, the way you will explore the most romantic cities in the world, or even the number of children you will few want and what you want to call them. “It feeds on various traces that it can pick up from the prey to promise it exactly what it wants,” the psychotherapist explains.
Future counterfeiting can make you feel like you are living in an adventure. In reality, this is not the case, on the contrary. The manipulator takes very little, if any, action to keep his promises. “IThe projects retreat as the horizon and are forced to wait to continue to maintain the daydream by mixing it with shocking moments of harassment or degradation “, supports Anne Clotilde Ziégler.
The forgery of the future or the art of fooling the other with illusions
This technique usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship. It is not uncommon for narcissistic perverts to start planning a lifetime together after a first date. They take advantage of the love affair to promise you mountains and wonders. “A couple is partly based on a story: the often slightly romanticized story of the first moments, the first glance, the first kiss, first time to love… And then by the common daydreams and the projects ”, confirms Anne Clotilde Ziégler.
To Florence Escaravage, the founder of Love Intelligence, a site that offers love coaching, jump too fast in the relationship is never good: “We need time to see through the other person’s personality, their uniqueness, their intentions, their values. We need a lot of common time to take aim at a meeting that promises to be promising. And it is in the various experiences (restaurants, walks, meetings with friends, etc.) that the contours of the true personality of the person seducing us are drawn.
When romantic relationships go too fast: they testify
How to distinguish love from future forgery at the beginning of a relationship? “USIt is very difficult, “laments Anne Clotilde Ziégler.In it dominance relationship, to begin with, we distinguish the bombing of love: the pervert buries you with dithyrambic compliments, and it is true that you must be a heroine of hell or a hero of hell to defend yourself against it. Someone who thinks you are wonderful, it is still very comfortable, ”emphasizes the psychotherapist.
Florence Escaravage advises you to take the time to avoid disillusionment: “You have to stretch the time, let the true personality emerge through the observed behavior. For example, check the adequacy between your words and your actions”. Because one of the hallmarks of future falsification is in truth the absence of action in relation to the promises kept. Narcissistic perverts do not worry about raising unrealistic expectations and then disappointing you. The specialist says: “You should never rush, even more so when one of the two projects his life too fast on the other. Planning is natural and it is not worrying, but it is necessary to check so many other aspects of it the personality of the other “.
If the perversion reveals itself over time, it is possible spot narcissism immediately worsened, according to Anne Clotile Ziégler. “The prettiest surfer on the beach who spends endless time showing off his pants and surfing rather than doing it, he must arouse some distrust. “
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