We know that romantic relationships are not always like in movies, but we also know that they should bring us happiness, not make us suffer.
In a toxic relationship, one partner is often manipulated by the other. It is often not easy to spot the signs of a toxic relationship as it often happens gradually and subtly. The manipulative partner is often best at the beginning of a relationship. He will bombard you with compliments and gifts before changing his behavior and showing you his true personality when the relationship calms down.
If you or someone close to you can be in such a situation, it is important to act quickly. Although this type of relationship is already very harmful on a daily basis, a toxic partner can also eventually become violent, whether it is mental or physical.
So here are 10 signs of a toxic romantic relationship:
He or she messes with your personal belongings
Yes, it is important to be honest and transparent with our partners, but everyone has the right to their secret garden. If your boyfriend requires access to your phone, email or personal finances, something is wrong.
2. He or she controls your appearance
The goal of a toxic person is to lower your self-confidence so that you eventually think no one else would want you except him or her. The person will therefore sometimes prevent you from wearing anything, discourage you from cutting your hair or even criticize your weight.
He or she controls your relationships with others.
One of the most serious signs to notice is when you start losing friends. A partner does not have to adore everyone around you, but if he or she asks you to cut certain people out of your life, or worse, certain members of your family, he or she is trying to isolate.
4. He or she “gas lights” you
Getting “gaslighted” is when you try to express something to your partner, and he or she will not only refute what you say, but make you feel like you’ve figured it all out. For example, you could say, “I do not like it when you talk like that to me,” and the person will say, “You’re crazy, I never talk malicious, you talk to me in an unacceptable way.”
5. He or she punishes you in different ways
We know that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. However, if your partner ignores you when you have done something that he or she thinks is wrong, he or she will take control of the situation by interrupting the communication. It is a manipulative and childish technique that has no place to be.
Also, if your partner makes you feel bad when you do not feel like having sex or on the contrary “punishes” you by denying love, this is very toxic.
6. He or she talks down what you love.
If your partner tends to make you feel like shit, that’s a sure sign. He or she could also insult your friends, your hobbies, your work, whatever is close to your heart. He or she could also downplay your issues by telling you that they are less important than his or her, this is also a sign to spot.
7. You have a feeling that something is wrong.
We often have one gut feeling when something is wrong and you need to listen to it. Our body can try to warn us when a relationship is toxic. You may have stomach pain, nausea, insomnia, and these physical signs are essential.
8. You need to go on eggshells
If you feel like you have to be careful all the time about what you say or do in your relationship, this is not normal. You need to be able to be yourself and make mistakes without fear of overreaction.
9. You do not do anything alone anymore.
As mentioned earlier, a toxic partner will want to isolate you from others and ridicule your passions and hobbies. Then he or she may interfere with all of your activities or make you feel bad if you “leave him or her alone for one night.” While it’s important to spend time as a couple, it’s also very healthy to have each other’s activities.
It is easy to interpret jealousy for passion. In small doses it is normal, but when it becomes excessive, we fall into toxicity. If your partner starts accusing you of infidelity because, for example, you were polite to the employee at the pharmacy, it hides something!
Here are some resources if you or someone close to you is in an unhealthy relationship:
See also: 10 Quebec couples whose existence we had forgotten