Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but hard to explain. Every love is different as each story is unique. Nevertheless, there are common signs that show that we are in love and that also identify that our emotions are healthy. Laura Chirco, therapist member of the Psychologue.net Committee, sheds light on the subject.
1 – Trust in others
To be in love is trust and trust each other. We trust ourselves easily and we share our biggest secrets. Excessive jealousy for fear of losing the other, on the other hand, has no place. in a romantic relationship. For example, if we think the person will find something better, then go and leave us alone Risks are falling into an emotional addiction.
2 – We remain 100% ourselves
When we are in love, we become ourselves ! We are not afraid of being judged. Then we can express ourselves freely. We do not hide anything, we remain natural, without artifice … just ourselves!
We are not meant to play a role in order to please at all costs to the other, change the way we express ourselves or dress, systematically adapt to him or her by seeking to become the perfect person in his or her eyes. If we are no longer ourselves, we lose our autonomyour hobbies, our social and family life, we step into the sphere of a toxic love.
3 – Our thoughts are often with the other
When we are in love, we often think of each other. It is even healthy and completely normal to think about the well-being and health of the one you love. Opposite to, do not fall into obsessions that goes beyond a healthy sense of love: they can lead to difficulty falling asleep and difficulty concentrating.
4 – We wish the other the happiness
The happiness of the beloved is important to us. We do not try to be the one who makes the other happy, however rather, we accompany him in his quest for happiness.
Love is not canceling our evenings to meet each other’s expectationsto always be available, to say yes to everything so as not to disappoint or even to adhere to your schedule.
5 – We form a team
We have joint projects we imagine a peaceful future together. We involve our partner in our decisions and choices. We act according to our intereststhe interests of the other and the couple.
6 – We express our love
When we are in love, we need or want to express our love ! There are 5 love languages, 5 different ways to say I love you:
- Valuable words: compliment the other, tell him he’s beautiful.highlight the person, congratulate them, tell them I love you …
- physical contact: take her hand, hug her, stroke her hairsleeping against each other …
- Quality aspects: take the time to spend a privileged moment with the person, be physically and emotionally presenttake an interest in her, ask her questions about her past, her day, her future, her projects … Listen to her and remember what she shared with you!
- Presents: Give a gift to the person you love to tell him I love you, pay attention and know their taste : a note, chocolate, a surprise activity …
- Services provided: helping the other when he / she needs it is a beautiful proof of love, simple services like coming to help collect furniture, put him off in the car, accompany him to an appointment, etc.
7 – Accept the other as he is!
love is accept our partner as he / she is and not as we imagine him / her or as we would like him / her. We accept it in its entirety! We are not trying to change it, to erase its flaws. On the contrary, we love and appreciate them because they make the person you have chosen unique !
Also have to accept and love yourself : do not feel lucky that this person is interested in us because we feel that we are not good enough, beautiful, smart.e for this person.
“The greatest gift anyone can give you is not to love you, but to teach you to love yourself” – Jacques Salomé, psychologist and author
Healthy or toxic love?
To complete, here’s how to help you identify your feelings :
How do you know if it’s a simple wish or a true love? You now have the answer. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!