An anonymous American woman has been hailed by netizens on Twitter after her alleged husband posted a post titled “She’s asking me to pay her almost $ 50,000 to carry our baby and I do not know what to do with this request “, on the social network Reddit – an American community site.
The man, who would be 34 years old, hidden under the pseudonym @husbandmaybefatherexplains in a long text that his 29-year-old wife, with whom he has been “spiritually married” for two years, is asking him to contribute thousands of dollars in the event that she becomes pregnant and has to hold maternity leave.
If he says he is “shocked” by this request, the story has caused many reactions on social networks, thus putting the core of the debate the physical, mental, professional and material costs of pregnancy for mothers.
Many English-language media such as The independent where is Huffington Post thus passed on the information, certainly unusual, but which once again opens up the discussion of inequalities between women and men on the parental front.
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A man who wants to share everything …
In his presentation, the man explains that the couple shares everything. They earn roughly the same pleasant amount, and they are accustomed to distribute the expenses fairly. “For loans of the house, we make 50/50 and since we are now owners, we divide our expenses between savings, investments and renovation of the house,” he explains. However, they keep separate accounts as they are not legally married.
He says that they are two “very independent” and “career-minded” lovers, and that it is this quality that attracts him most in his “spiritual wife”.
The couple had planned to travel, but cut in their tracks by Covid-19, the idea of expanding the family has found its way. Except that when it was a matter of sharing the cost of pregnancy, the husband was visibly no longer particularly attracted to the ambitious side of his wife.
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… Excluding pregnancy-related costs
The 29-year-old American explained to her that she had inquired about the terms of maternity leave in her company, where the latter offered one year of leave, paid at 50% for six months, then unpaid for the second semester, d where the need for compensation, which the interested party has stated.
“She asks me to compensate her up to $ 50,000 and share all the costs of pregnancy and childbirthhe writes before clarifying that his wife motivated his request by explaining if it was still necessary that she literally gave of her person “so that (they found) a family”.
According to him, his wife also prepared and printed out a list of all the expenses that his insurance did not cover, as well as a list of the common tasks that she wanted to establish when the child was born, and a savings plan for him. childcare and a domestic worker (which woman).
“She gave me a 16-page ring binder with detailed notes, explanations and expense lists,” the man complained.
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An approach applauded by Internet users
If he says he finds his wife’s request “logical”, the husband especially emphasized that he was “really very discouraged” by the situation because he has the feeling that his wife “essentially asked him to pay her to have (his) children “. However, they have plans to do it together -CQFD.
On Twitter, where the message was taken up after it was deleted on Reddit, many internet users welcomed the young woman’s approach and found her proposal correct as she will lose a good chunk of her salary for starting a family. mention the probable obstacles that motherhood, and the mental strain that comes with it, will cause in the pursuit of her professional development.
“So if I read it right, he thinks like this: ‘My partner will suffer the physical and professional harm of carrying our child (and the long-term financial consequences that come with it), but I’m deeply disgusted and offended that she does not also suffer short-term financial damage ‘”, it pretty much sums up. @helenhuntingdon.
As a reminder, in the United States, women earn only 83 cents for every dollar men earnas pointed out The independent. According to one 2021 National Women’s Law Center surveyquoted by the daily newspaper, this difference increases for mothers, who are only paid 75 cents for every dollar paid to fathers.
Money in the couple: Dear ladies, that’s why you do not gain anything by sharing everything