Is your love partner distant, inaccessible and not fully invested? You may be a victim of “cookie jarring”. This term refers to a new one toxic love practice which we would do well. Like “roaching”, it is based on sincerity and manipulation. Here is everything you need to know to avoid it.
What is cookie grinding, this toxic love practice?
“Cookie jarring” is one new love trend cruel which could be translated into French as “cake tin”. Psychologist Catalina Lawsin, during an interview for NBC Newsdescribed it as being “an unbalanced relationship, which for one of the partners is a completely normal and respectful relationship, but which for the other is only a plan B for safety reasons”.
How to help a friend in a toxic relationship?
Well, and cookies in all this? Well, it’s all a matter of imagination. The biscuit, here, is the person who is put aside and kept warm if the main character lets go of us. It is clear that we will be one of the spare wheels. So there is nothing greedy in cookie grinding. On the contrary. Proponents of this practice are generally people who try to seduce another but who have their backs. It can also be about people who do not like exclusivity, who quickly get bored in a relationship, and who are not fans of “honesty bombing”.
The jarring cookie for people who are afraid of being alone
People who practicecookie grinding“Often see multiple victims at the same time. And no, you are not their only cookie. However, the people they see are hierarchical. There is often the person they prefer and the others. Interact with people. They like to snack several cookies.
In addition to causing harm to those to whom it is inflicted, cookie jarring can in some cases reveal a fear of being abandoned. Having more people at your disposal in your cake box minimizes our chances of being alone. But by avoiding loneliness, the cookie-cutter sets up a harmful and destructive pattern for his victims.
Psychic murder, point of no return in toxic relationships
At the time, he had the impression that he was only benefiting from this situation. But it’s a little more complicated. He may end up developing one have to please even once in a relationship. Not to mention the risk of losing the person he really cares about if the latter finds out. The additional damage is also numerous: the person considered a cookie gets slowed down in his love life and may lose confidence if he finds out what is going on.
By escaping from loneliness or by wanting to seduce more people while he has his back, the cake eater creates a harmful cunning for everyone.
One of the principles of romantic manipulation is that it is difficult to detect. But there may be some unmistakable signals. American psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina revealed some points in 2019 on NBC News. According to her, one of the signs that should not be overlooked is the fact does not want to project himself into a relationship. For good reason, the person does not even know if you will still be a part of his life in the weeks after.
How to recognize a toxic romantic relationship?
People who practice “cookie jarring” do not plan to see you in advance. On the contrary, they call you at the last minute, on a whim, the psychotherapist indicates. One of the other things you need to be aware of is that they keep avoiding discussions about the nature of your relationship. In short, you are at his disposal and on the verge of falling into one toxic relationship.
What to do if you are in a cookie-cutter relationship
It can happen to anyone to be a victim of loving manipulation. Even the best. If you feel like someone’s cookie, the best thing you can do is talk to them once you’ve thought about it. Do not hesitate to set the record by mentioning the criteria you expect from a relationship. Taking the lead will also prevent you from developing affection or even love for this person who only wants to sleep with you.
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Do not hesitate to distance yourself, even to cut ties, if he or she does not seem to be listening to your needs. And to avoid ending up in someone’s cookie jar, talk about your need for exclusivity (if any) from the first dates. It may scare him or her, but you at least avoid becoming a cookie.
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