Toxic condition: how to rebuild?

It is possible to qualify a so-called “toxic” relationship when one does not feel happy, free and oneself within a couple. To detach you from this negative grip and rebuild yourself, our expert in hypnosis and NLP accompanies you in this process.

Living with a narcissistic pervert, a manipulator, a toxic person is a traumatic experience. When the relationship ends, many women feel anxious, tired, or suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. It is a completely normal reaction, but you should not stay too long in this state of depression. In this article I will give you more tips to help you rebuild after the toxic relationship.

Identify your triggers

How did the toxic person manipulate you? What fear or pain did she take advantage of to control you?

If you were completely financially dependent on your toxic partner, he may have told you that you would never manage without him. If it was rather the lack of confidence, he probably put you down constantly and told you that you would not find another companion if you left him. If you had children, he made you feel guilty and told you to stay “for the children” …

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To hold you back in the toxic relationship, the narcissistic pervert identifies your fear and reinforces it. The first step is to understand what your triggers are and eliminate them.

Cut the ribbons

One of the most important rules when leaving the toxic partner is to discontinue all contact. It can be boring, but it is very important. The toxic partner lives off your energy and attention. The worst thing you can do to her is to ignore her completely.

You need to block him on all social networks and no longer communicate with him. Do not read or reply to these emails or messages even if you are very tempted to do so. If he still keeps trying to contact you through fake numbers or mutual friends, I strongly encourage you to change your phone number and social media. If you have friends in common, ask yourself the question: ”Is this friend more friends with the toxic person than with me?“This is often the case because a toxic partner cuts you off from your circle of friends to better manipulate you.

Let the past lie in the past

After leaving a toxic partner, you may regret having spent all those years with them. You may feel bitterness, hatred, anger … However, I invite you to leave your past. If you get stuck on these regrets, you maintain the connection with the toxic partner and he continues to have a negative impact on your life.

Instead, adopt a growth mindset to move forward. Celebrate the fact that you left a toxic partner. Many women never realize that they are living with a narcissistic pervert or never make the decision to end the toxic relationship. Use this experience to learn and grow.
To help you in this process, use a gratitude journal in your morning routine. Every day, take the time to write down the things, whether large or small, that give you a sense of joy, gratitude, or pride. For example, being in good health, having a roof over your head and something to eat, having left the toxic person, etc. The gratitude journal helps you reprogram your brain to see life on the bright side.

Have fun

After a painful separation, you can tell yourself that your life stops there and that you will no longer find happiness. These are limiting beliefs that prevent you from regaining your zest for life. It’s never too late to live life to the fullest! Do not deprive yourself of the joys of life, embark on a hobby that tempts you, reconnect with your lost friends, resume a sporting activity that makes you feel comfortable, etc. Incorporate these activities into your weekly schedule and Hire a babysitter to take care of your children. If you take a few hours or a day to yourself, the world will not collapse. On the contrary, it will help you free yourself from your past and regain your energy.

Find inner peace

The toxic relationship has definitely left you in a state of sadness and anxiety. You may find that you tend to fuss over the smallest things, or that you are particularly sensitive to the problems of others.

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I therefore advise you to avoid negative news or people until you are in a better state of mind. Meditation can be very helpful in this case. It will teach you to focus on yourself and give you the opportunity to come back to calm when you are in stressful situations. In our “Growing Out of a Toxic Relationship” program, we offer several exercises and guided meditations.

Avoid negative thoughts

Once you have lived with a toxic partner, you have become accustomed to being constantly in a state of stress and alertness. Your brain becomes addicted to these negative emotions. You will notice that your daily thoughts are dominated by feelings of sadness, guilt, fear … What thoughts do you repeat to yourself every day? Do you think that an accident will happen to you or rather that your day will be filled with happiness?
To get rid of the addiction to negative emotions, you need to replace them with positive emotions such as gratitude, love, joy … Focus on these emotions every day through the gratitude journal and meditation. You can also incorporate positive affirmations into your morning routine. For example, “I am confident”, “I am strong” etc. Close your eyes and imagine these positive affirmations, feel the positive emotions they evoke in you.

Improve your lifestyle

Be active, eat healthy and limit your alcohol consumption. Take care of your body as it will give you more energy to improve your well-being and strengthen your positive habits.

Having met a toxic person is a very strong evolutionary lever. It forces you to grow into a better human being. You become an alchemist, that is, you turn lead into gold. Lead represents past, guilt, shame and suffering. Gold represents learning, knowledge, new perceptions of yourself and your abilities. You are an alchemist when you use your past as well as your mistakes to move forward towards your desires, gold allows you to move forward on your light path.

To transform suffering into evolution, the negative into the positive, I invite you to ask yourself this question: ” What would I do differently if I had to go through this again today? “.

Our expert

Thierry Zibi grew up in a dysfunctional family. He was a toxic, co-dependent person before doing a 10-year job of transforming himself. He is an MBA graduate and has certified training in NLP, Hypnosis, TRE and Trauma Releases. It is accredited by ICF and RITMA. His website:

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