Surrogacy is not always a family’s first choice when it comes to having children, especially given the costs associated with it.
But for those who cannot conceive on their own, it is one of the most amazing advances in science and has helped build many happy families.
So for a woman who opened up on Reddit, and who is struggling with infertility with her husband, surrogacy seemed like a great way to fulfill her dream of becoming a mother.
The woman was also supported in this decision by her sister, who kindly offered to carry the baby, unbelievably – or so she thought!
But things got extremely complicated when the man suggested she have sex with his sister to get pregnant.
“My husband said he was looking at how much time and money IVF would take and slowly began to suggest that we go the traditional route,” the woman wrote on the subreddit “True Off My Chest.” from Reddit, where users open up about the things that give them stress in life.
“I was too shocked to say anything, but he behaved as if what he said was not even that bad,” she continued.
Now, surrogacy and IVF are expensive and time consuming processes. And it can no doubt be stressful for couples and even strain a marriage.
But there can not be many people who think that surrogacy would cause more stress than your husband sleeping with your sister!
Needless to say, her husband’s proposal completely changed her ideas about having a child this way.
“I am 100% against, that is [why] “I am withdrawing and I am no longer comfortable with this whole path of surrogacy,” the woman wrote.
“I can not even imagine my sister’s reaction when she heard my husband’s suggestion.”
She says she is “devastated” by her husband’s actions, but not just because she is shocked that her husband would suggest having sex with her sister just to save time and money.
She also says she feels totally uncomfortable and knows she could never get over this if they ever go through with her plan.
“If ever I agree despite the feeling [uncomfortable] so I will always have this memory of how the baby was conceived, ”she explains – it’s good!
So with all that in mind, the woman said she directly rejected the absurd idea and “shut down her proposal hard.”
But her husband is now trying to blame her for going through with his plan.
Unfortunately, the husband is not very respectful of his wife’s feelings and her obvious discomfort.
“He’s now starting to blame me for saying I do not trust him, and then saying I’m selfish because he chose to retire when he still wants to be a father, as he expected when he married me, “she wrote.
This part is especially heartbreaking because the wife feels that her husband is blaming her for his fertility problems, which are obviously not his fault or something to be ashamed of.
“I feel so crushed and feel like my body is useless and has let me down,” she wrote.
Fortunately, there were many who supported her in the comments.
“Your body is not useless. I was told for many years that I was sterile and felt that my body betrayed me for being able to do the one thing that came so easily to others, wrote a kind person .
Related stories from YourTango:
“I wish someone had spared me those years of heartache that I never shared with anyone. My head breaks for you. You are beautiful and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
A lawyer even stepped in to point out that the original poster (OP) will not even have any rights for this child if they follow this plan.
“Without a formal surrogacy contract, the sister can claim the child as her own, and the husband can be responsible for child support,” they wrote, “OP will have a hard time proving the child’s legal rights. It’s a terrible idea everywhere.
Others even had their own suggestions on how the sister could get pregnant without having sex with the sister … Turkey baster, anyone?
Alice Kelly is the news and entertainment editor for YourTango. Based in Brooklyn, New York, her work spans everything in terms of social justice, pop culture and human interest. Follow his Twitter for more.
45secondes is a new medium, do not hesitate to share our article on social networks to give us a solid boost. 🙂