Note, this article reproduces facts about verbal violence. The comments from their author are likely to shock and trigger a stress response associated with a trauma.
Getting divorced when you have children and are expecting one is never easy. A mother who is to be left by her unfaithful husband, Reddit confides that her situation is particularly complicated: Her ex-husband is putting pressure on her to have an abortion, and she is not really supported by those around her.
Her future ex-husband wants her to have an abortion
“I am pregnant with my 3rd child, from the same father: my future ex-husband. At the time the baby was conceived, I discovered that[il] returned to his mistress after I forgave him for having an affair for three years “, explains this woman. After learning about it, she and her husband parted ways. For her, it is easy to keep the baby. While claiming to be a supporter of abortion and explaining that she herself had resorted to voluntary termination of pregnancy (IVG) a few years ago, she made her choice.
This expectant mother is currently 9 weeks pregnant. “I feel connected to this baby. I want it. I do not care if my husband and I are together or not. I know I can be a single mother. I am financially stable. I work from home.”, she says. Her ex disagrees with her on this point: “The problem is that my future ex-husband does not want this baby. Not only that, but he’s trying to force me to have an abortion. He’s rude and frankly verbally violent. He says I’m selfish and that I’m ruining his life and our two sons’ lives (?) because this baby will take the attention away from them “. Here are examples of the messages her ex-spouse sends her: “I think you’re ruining everyone’s lives. It makes me sick”, “It’s a completely crazy decision. You’re wrong and you’ll pull everyone down with you.”, “It takes you away from our first two kids. Can’t you fucking see it? Am I the only one who’s not crazy?”, “Use your head. It’s crazy. It’s a terrible decision”… And so on.
If this mother seems determined to have this child, she can also not count on the support of those around her. “My best friend is trying to convince me it’s a mistake, even though I told her my decision was made. My family is in Europe [nous ne savons pas où cette femme vit, ndlr] and do not support me either. Hell, even my shrink could not hide her surprise when I told her I wanted to keep the baby. “she says.
Her body, her choices
Let one thing be very clear: when we think about the possibility of an abortion, we can consult with other people, listen to the father’s opinion, etc. However, the final decision lies with one person: the pregnant woman. If she has chosen not to have an abortion, it is her choice, it is her right, and no one should try to force her to do so. It would be the same if she had decided to have an abortion: it is her choice, it is her right, and no one has the right to prevent her from doing so.
That’s exactly what many forum members told this mom. “Who are the people who should not have an abortion? Those who do not. It seems to me that you are one of them. It is your baby and your body.”writes a user. “I stopped reading when I read, ‘I feel connected to this baby. I do “. I think you have the answer to your question”, adds another. And a third in abundance: “You do not want an abortion, end the discussion, and anyone who disagrees with you is not on your side. You want this baby, so have this baby, and if the people who wanted you to have an abortion, do not support you, remove them from your life “.
A little later, in a new publication, the woman indicated that her decision had been made definitively. She chose to have this child: “I decided to keep the baby. There are many single mothers who manage it, I know I can do it too. I felt too connected with this baby to give up even though the circumstances were not ideal.”
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